Well, I was struggling this evening, trying to make myself hungry in any way… It was a hectic day at work and around came 8:30PM and I still did not want to eat.
But, in keeping to the rules, I must eat something from an unlabeled can each day.
I decided to go with something fairly light as my main course, a bowl of Cream of Potato soup with egg noodles. This is one of the staples of my bachelor diet.
I picked a can, a nice gold one. One that I hoped was full of sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.
Unfortunately, considering my main course, it contained a strange smelling rice and bean concoction.
Space Ghost is sad today.
This evening, my dinner, which I am in not interested in taking a single bite of, consisted of stuff from two cans and stuff from a bag.
It took a while for gravity to take hold.
The smell didn’t improve as heat was applied, either.
You may not be able to tell, but the whole mix is heavily flecked black with chili powder. It came that way. I realized as it heated up that the unnatural odor this stuff was producing was half a jar of chili powder mixed into it. Really, there should be some sort of health regulations about anything containing this much chili powder. Oh, and I feel the same way about cilantro.
Maybe some pepperoncinis will help.
* NOTE FROM FUTURE SELF: They didn’t help at all.
Now that the footy-hell-stew is all heated up, I could finally pull my soup off the burner. It was waiting over there for long enough that it had thickened considerably.
These two things… Like a match made in a place where things are very poorly matched. Cream of Potato noodle soup and some farty fiesta rice and bean stuff… mmmmm. Just like mom used to make. Before she snapped and killed that pizza delivery guy.
The rules say you only have to eat half. At this point, I could have easily stopped. That is, if I was as much of a food-puss as Nicky said I am. Which I am not.
* NOTE FROM FUTURE SELF: You are.
Quit making faces. Get in there and eat that crap.
The last bite… I thought it would never come.
Unfortunately, by the time I had made it half way through the bowl of bean stuff, I knew I wasn’t going to eat much more of my delicious soup. I had eaten three or four spoons full at this point and had a couple more once I was done with the footy-hell-stew… The rest awaits me for lunch tomorrow.
I put the bowl on the floor and suggested that Birdie partake in the juices. She sniffed it for a second, then started bashing her head against the ottoman.
Now an hour or so has passed. I feel horrible. I am farting twelve times per minute. Little clouds of chili powder and puffs of flame are following me around as I clean up the kitchen.
I wish there had been rainbows in that can… Instead, I’m off to make rainbows in the can.
